Bedtime Exercises for Unwinding Chaos

I wrote this article for our younger son's school newsletter. It describes a few calming techniques I use to put our two sons to bed. May be useful and fun to other parents outside our direct circle of contact.

Bedtime Exercises for Unwinding Chaos

By the end of the day, our two boys have jumped around so much, they left a trail of havoc throughout the house. Our brains are in sheer chaos. When night falls, we just want to drop in bed and quickly fall asleep. Before that happens, however, we have, every night, to find out where they hid their on/off button. A few activities work fine for creating that needed transitional, soothing moment before their standby button is finally found: singing quiet songs, reading books etc. However, none has been as effective to calm our kids (and us) as a small set of fun bedtime exercises I adapted, based on self-massage, mindfulness and breathing techniques.

Even when our boys seem unstoppable at bedtime, these exercises quickly make their breathing slower and more regular. During those magical moments, I can feel all the mental clutter dissipate, as we mirror each other in a resonant state of peaceful serenity... yawn. This living evidence I witness as our kids transition from charged up into sleepy angels, supports academic studies made in the last decade or two, as described in books by people like John Kabat-Zinn (“Full-Catastrophe Living”) and Daniel Goleman (“Emotional Intelligence”). These books have shown that exercises like the ones I describe below, are effective ways of not only calming down, but also increasing awareness, confidence, resilience and performance in kids all ages 1-100.

Exercises are made with the child laying in bed and dim lights. Paced, guided breathing is essential. Apart from “finger and toe stretch”, all other 3 routines are repeated a few times to be effective.

Drop your bombs

• While holding your child's arms or legs up away from the mattress, ask them to let go,

• When you feel they have really let go, release their arms/legs, so they drop over the bed suddenly.

Squeeze, then let go

• Ask your child to raise arms, and pretend to be squeezing a ball of play dough,

• After 2 or 3 seconds, tell him to let go and drop the imaginary play dough on the bed.

• Use the same idea (but perhaps not the imaginary play dough) for squeezing, letting-go other parts of the body (eyelids, shoulders, mouth and jaw etc.

Fallen leaf breathing

• Pretend-play that a leaf is falling from a tree, and that your child should try and push it back up with his breath,

• Slowly sway one of your hands (the leaf) down and up, one direction at a time, as your child breathes in and out.

Finger and Toe Stretch

• Hold firmly the tip of a finger or toe, and rotate it in clock- and counter-clockwise directions, repeat with all fingers, toes.

• Hold a finger/toe firmly, bend it up, stretching back but without causing pain, hold for 1 or 2 sec, repeat with all fingers, toes, except thumb and big toe.

• Hold together all fingers or toes in a bundle (except thumb), one hand/foot at a time, pull back stretching as far as comfortable, hold for 2 or 3 seconds, and release.

With time, your child may do these exercises alone, whenever calming down is needed.

Further reading: Linda Lantieri, “Building Emotional Intelligence”. ISBN 978-1-59179-789-0. 2008. (See also www.lindalantieri.org).

Today, 51 years ago: Heitor Villa-Lobos died

Needless to say, Heitor Villa-Lobos is one of the most internationally acclaimed Brazilian composers of all times: his entry in wikipedia.com shows he was described as "the single most significant creative figure in 20th-century Brazilian art music". I would agree wholeheartedly. Every time I hear his name, or listen to one of his compositions, I remember a sunny day in my home-town Rio de Janeiro, when I was in my early twenties, walking down a narrow street (Rua Sorocaba) in the Botafogo neighborhood, when I stumbled on the doorsteps of the Villa-Lobos Museum. Although that visit was completely unintentional (I was actually surprised to find out his museum was right there and then), my memories of that glorious day, other than that it was sunny and I was very happy, are still alive today mostly because of what I felt while walking uncommitted through the rooms of the old mansion in Botafogo.

Villa-Lobos left many manuscripts of his interpretations of classics of the popular and classical repertoires from all over the world, and also of his own compositions, with many notes to performers for correct interpretation, and also dedications to his beloved ones. His writing and words caught my attention so that I spent a few hours reading carefully through whatever I could find on display, and even before seeing his photos and reading his biographies, I was able to see through his clear and firm writing that this was a man of strength, charisma and leadership.

Walking around the room in the Rua Sorocaba mansion, I also captured his intense love affair to all things Brazilian. His personal collection of indigenous and popular artifacts, mostly anything indigenous or popular that could produce music, was breathtaking. About that passion, Heitor himself used to say: "Yes, I am Brazilian and a Brazilian with capital B. In my song I allow the rivers and seas of this great Brazil to sing. I do not put a muzzle on the tropical exuberance of our forests and our skies, I instinctively transpose them to everything I write."

Long live Heitor Villa-Lobos' work.

Starting points to know more about the man and his music:

• Heitor Villa-Lobos Museum,
• A recent documentary about his life (in Portuguese),
• A beautiful interpretation of Estudo no. 1 with 7-string guitarist Raphael Rabello,
• Heitor Villa-Lobos Canadian site.

Roberta's Saltimbancos

A few years ago, after we moved to Perth, Roberta Alves, my wife, had a dream of bringing to a local stage "Os Saltimbancos", an adaptation by Brazilian composer Chico Buarque of "The Bremmen Town-Musicians", by the Grimm Brothers.
A few months ago she decided to bring it all together, and against the odds of a tight schedule of family trips and changes, and end-of-the year commitments, she did it!

After only a couple of weeks of rehearsing, Roberta inventively strung tightly a troupe of local amateur and professional musicians (Juliana Areias, Sandra Barbosa, Tom Foss, Eduardo Mello, Marcio Mendes and Claudia Rondom ).
Then she used what must be her magic touch to make come true her wishes of offering to the "children" of Perth (including our own and myself), a glimpse of the tales and wonder that have lived in the imagination of at least three or four generations of Brazilian children.

Good on ya Roberta, thank you for giving Perth and the local artistic community the opportunity to participate and share your dream. Thank you for the performers and Kulcha, who believed in her dream and helped her make it come true.